still perplexed

wish someone would tell me why women and probably men stay long after they should leave a relationship -- i go thru each day not sure if staying is the right thing to do - feel i'm being lied to but the other half will never admit it and just wants thing to go back to "normal" - wow , how can that be -- if i told you what i found out the other day, you would all laugh -- found an e-mail from my guy to another new "friend" giving her a totally different cell phone no. -- starts the distrust process all over again, really thinking this time about making a move sooner or later, i want someone who is going to love me, not just tell me because it's the thing to do, but love me and make me feel like i'm part of their life, holding hands, cuddling, feeling secure - i'm under such self imposed stress now that i've been given a mild tranquilizer for a better word by my dx, have shoulder pain and muscle tightness yet i go to work each day -- boy, do i miss having that someone special in my life, is he really out there? feel so bad to think that i would leave someone after almost 14 years but i'm lost and it's not getting any better. anyone have any thoughts out there, and i know you would say go, i'm trying but want the time to be right, actually i want that one wonderful man that i always thought would show up to find me, i sure have been looking for him.